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Audio Sunset at The Ruin.
August 18, — I will take my life today around noon. Dementia is taking its toll and I have nearly lost myself. I have nearly lost me. Jonathan, the straightest and brightest of men, will be at my side as a loving witness.
I have known that I have dementia, a progressive loss of memory and judgment, for three years.
It is a stealthy, stubborn and oh-so reliable disease. I might have preferred an exotic ailment whose name came trippingly off the tongue, but no, what I have is entirely typical. I find it a boring disease, and despite the sweetness and politeness of my family I am bright enough to be aware of how boring they find it, too.
It is so rough on my husband, Jonathan. Dementia gives no quarter and admits no bargaining. Ever so gradually at first, much faster now, I am turning into a vegetable.
I have constantly to monitor what I say in an attempt not to make some gross error of judgment. I want out before the day when I can no longer assess my situation, or take action to bring my life to an end. There could also come a time when I simply must make a decision based on my deteriorating physical health.
I do not like hospitals—they are dirty places.
Any doctor will tell you to stay out of them if you possibly can. I would not want a fall, a stroke, or some unforeseen complication to mess up my decision to cost Canada as little as possible in my declining years.
Understand that I am giving up nothing that I want by committing suicide. Each of us is born uniquely and dies uniquely.
I think of dying as a final adventure with a predictably abrupt end.Mr. Frugalwoods gave me a haircut last week and, as I shared on Twitter: 1) we’re still married and 2) it looks really good! I’ll admit, we were both a bit nervous and .
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